The Top 17 Ways to Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped

17. You've got Windows on your laptop.
16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15. Your dork is ajar.
14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
13. I can see your Gap dancers.
12. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
11. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10. Elvis Junior has left the building!
9. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, sir.
7. Captain, sensors detect a wormhole in the forward quadrant!
6. Lil' Shaq's at the free show line.
5. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
4. Your closet door is open and Donato's peeking out.
3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2. I see you have an opening in senior management.

and the Number 1 Way to Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped...

1. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.